Student’s First Drug Deal Fails to Live Up to Expectations

Kevin Trammel (COL '13)

“I always thought my first drug buy would be filled with danger and intrigue but it ended up just being kind of boring,” said Trammel. “Not once did I feel threatened even a little bit. It was a huge letdown.”

The freshman from Princeton, New Jersey had been eagerly anticipating the event for days, ever since first deciding to purchase a small amount of marijuana from Keith Nippert (NHS ’11), one of his roommate’s friends.

“I don’t usually do this kind of thing but I hung out with this cute girl from my psych class last week and she suggested that we should smoke together sometime. I figured she’d be really impressed if I managed to get some weed by myself. I know I should have been more scared but I was actually kind of excited. It’s not everyday that you get to come face-to-face with the mob,” Trammel said.

Though hints of his impending disappointment began to appear early on, Trammel remained optimistic that the experience would live up to his lofty expectations.

“My first call to [Nippert] to arrange a secure location for the deal should have tipped me off that something was wrong,” said Trammel. “He answered using his real name and didn’t even bother to first check and see if the call was tapped. If I hadn’t been using my voice scrambler I would’ve been really concerned.”

Despite Trammel’s growing misgivings, he and Nippert agreed on Nippert’s dorm room as the location for the transaction.

“He kept asking me all these weird questions,” said Nippert. “He wanted to know how many accessible exits there were, what types of security measures were in place, and whether he could case the room before the money changed hands. I didn’t even know how to react so I just agreed with everything he said. I had some extra weed left over and really needed a few bucks. FIFA ’10 just came out.”

Trammel’s extensive preparation, however, did not prepare him for what he saw upon entering Nippert’s room to complete the deal.

“It confirmed all of my worst fears,” said Trammel. “He just tossed me the baggie and told me to leave the money on his desk. He didn’t even look up from his game of Madden. There were no furtive glances, no code names, no intrigue or tension at all. I nearly dropped my attaché case of money out of shock.”

“It just all seemed so wrong,” added Trammel. “I could’ve been wearing a wire and he would’ve had no idea. It was like he had no clue how much danger we were in. I bet the Feds are licking their chops to get their hands on his supply. I don’t understand how someone could be so careless.”

Despite his satisfaction with the product he received, Trammel insisted he would no longer purchase drugs from Nippert.

“He can kiss my business goodbye. I’m not just going to give someone twenty dollars of my hard earned money if they aren’t willing to put any effort into providing their consumer with a proper purchasing environment. The entire experience was a disappointment from start to finish. I’m not going to make the same mistake twice,” said Trammel as he boarded the metro for Anacostia, cash in hand.