Fake Girlfriend More Popular Than Student Who Invented Her
Michael Lipton (SFS '13)
“I just wanted to get everyone off my back for Valentine’s Day so I told a few of my friends about this girl I was seeing at my high school back home. Now they won’t shut up about her,” said Lipton.
Unfortunately for Lipton, the qualities of his imaginary girlfriend “Kate Perkins” attracted the attention of his Harbin 9 floor mates, all of whom found her a far more interesting and noteworthy topic of discussion than Lipton himself.
“Kate is so amazing,” said Tom Cranston (MSB ’13). “She’s hiked the Appalachian Trail, is fluent in three languages, and is even getting recruited by some Big East schools for soccer.”
“Everyone loves her,” agreed Selma Browning (MSB ’13). Ever since Michael told us about the time she went to New York for Fashion Week and partied with the Olson twins we’ve been begging him to tell us everything about her. Hearing all these awesome stories about Kate almost makes hanging out with Mike bearable.”
Though Lipton originally hoped his floor mates’ interest in Perkins would fade as quickly as their interest in him, his increasingly detailed stories only heightened their desire to interact with her. To avoid being caught in his lie, Lipton was forced to create a fake Facebook page so that his floor mates could finally talk to the girlfriend they had heard so much about.
“It wasn’t too hard. I just grabbed some pictures of some random girl I found on Myspace and photoshopped myself in here and there,” Lipton said. “Kate’s gotten so popular that I have to spend more time on her account than mine just to keep up with all the Facebook chats from people on my floor. I guess it’s not too big of a deal, though, I don’t really have much else to do.”
Kate quickly accumulated more Georgetown Facebook friends than Michael, with her new friends offering unanimous praise for her wit and her easygoing demeanor.
“It’s so much fun to talk to Kate. She’s so down-to-earth and cheerful,” said Caitlin Matthews (COL’ 13). “It makes you wonder why she’s still with a boring guy like Mike. Maybe she feels bad for him. I guess she’s just too kind for her own good. I’m sure once she gets to college she’ll realize that she could do much, much better.”
While Lipton initially claimed not to mind the attention being lavished on his creation, he acknowledged that it has gradually become “tiresome.”
“At this point I have to use her Facebook account just to find out when my roommate is going to eat at Leo’s. I mean I know that everyone who likes Kate is really showing their appreciation for me and the stories I tell but sometimes it’s easy to let myself forget that. Luckily we’re going to have to break up soon now that she’s heading off to college. She’s gonna have to cheat on me, though. I don’t think people would forgive me if I hurt her,” he added, clicking away Facebook invitations to parties he was not invited to.
