Freshman Unveils Solution to All World Conflict in International Relations Discussion Section

MAGUIRE—After having an earth-shattering epiphany while reading the assigned reading over the weekend, John Schaffer (SFS ’13) came to Monday night’s teaching-assistant-led International Relations discussion section to reveal the world’s first sure-fire solution for everlasting global peace.  When the teaching assistant, doctoral candidate Doug Paulson, finally opened the floor to questions, Schaffer finally had his opportunity. “Don’t you see, the three theories of international relations can be distilled into one set of universal laws that keeps countries from fighting one another,” Schaffer said, standing on his desk, yelling to the class, and gesturing wildly with his arms.  “This ‘Unitary Approach,’ as I call it, is a little complicated, but if you follow me, we can go out there and change the face of geopolitics, just like my dad always said I would,” he continued, gesturing to the class to follow him as he exited the classroom.  After the other students remained in their seats and watched Schaffer leave, Paulson let the class know that Shaffer’s idea is the much-maligned Rothschild-Andrzejewski theory, which will be covered briefly in the next chapter of their textbook.