Senior Scared by Prospect of Dating Before Having Sex

THE TOMBS—After a couple pints of Tombs Ale Thursday night, senior Ted Glickstein (COL’10) reported to those within earshot his fear of actually having to date girls after college in order to have sex with them.  “Can you imagine having to buy them dinner and learn about their job before even getting a kiss on the cheek?” he said, looking towards a group of intoxicated females. Sources familiar with the situation have said that Glickstein’s only prior dating history consists of a six-month stint in high school and a two-week relationship in the middle of his sophomore year of college that eventually turned into a “friends-with-benefits” deal.  He did manage to get the phone number of one of his hookups a few months ago, but forgot her name and thought it would be “way too awkward to call her.” Glickstein said he fears that studying drunk freshmen girls has taught him few real world skills and that he may have to go to graduate school to ease his way into to the world outside college.