GUSA President Proposes New GUTS Bus Route To New Jersey

HEALY—GUSA President Calen Angert (MSB ’11) announced Wednesday his plan to persuade the Office of Transportation Management to institute a new GUTS bus route to the state of New Jersey.  Angert, who in March became the first GUSA president not from New Jersey in school history, had made the route proposal a campaign promise.  Despite having a vice presidential running mate from New Jersey, Angert’s campaign was almost disqualified after it was revealed he does not hail from New Jersey or Long Island but a previously unknown area of the United States the indigenous people call “Floridd Uh.”

“When we asked in our summer survey the question, ‘Isn’t it true you think, like everyone else, a GUTS route to New Jersey, which is a good idea, is a good idea?,’ 96% of respondents chose ‘yes,’ the only response on the form,” Angert said.  “It’s nice that there will be a GUTS route to Safeway, but our survey says most students would prefer to buy groceries at their family’s favorite supermarket in New Jersey.  And students from New Jersey take Amtrak home every weekend anyway, so it just makes sense.  Really people travel to Jersey more often than they go to Dupont Circle.”

The plan has proven controversial among the general body of GUSA, however, as a heated debate erupted at the last meeting over whether South or North Jersey is better and which Turnpike exit the bus should stop at.