Georgetown Nightlife Personality Test

Where you go out may say a lot about who you are

The Georgetown Heckler’s expert on group psychology and world-renowned bouncer, Wade Garrett, has conducted extensive research in Georgetown’s most popular watering holes in order to create and/or reinforce student stereotypes.  What he’s discovered may shock and offend, but probably will not surprise you.

Tombs:
You’re an English or History major who goes out roughly 1.5 nights per week, but loves 80’s night… that is, when you can make it.  You went to the Tombs on your 21st birthday, did a stop light shot, and then scream vomited while walking back to your Henle apartment / Kennedy single.  You know every word to every song in John Mellencamp’s entire catalogue.  You know the fight song, but have never heard it played at the Tombs because you leave 80’s night by midnight every time.  You think that you are best buds with the wait staff, even though they only occasionally will give you a free Diet Coke to wash down your Southwest Chicken Salad.  You signed up for 99 Days, but you had to quit within two weeks because you have “so much work this semester.”

Rhino’s:
You wake up in the bed of a lacrosse player every Sunday morning.  This means you are either a lacrosse player, or you are a lacrosse player’s slampig.  You have gained 35 pounds since you started college because Philly Pizza is delicious.  If you are female, you love your lacrosse-playing boyfriend so much and you swear that you’ll be together forever.  If you are male, you enjoy slamming your slampig, but have no intention of ever seeing her again after you graduate.

Parties:
You are either an underclassman, or a GERM.  You buy 30 racks of Busch Lite from Dixie and get totally wasted with all your roommates/soulmates.  When you host keg parties, you buy a keg and always rent a bucket, even though it’s worthless.  You can’t believe you made out with that person last weekend, but s/he seemed totally cute in the darkness of that Henle apartment.

Third Edition:
You are a coke-blowing slut.  You enjoy getting hit on by random 30-year-old dudes.  You can’t wait for the tiki bar to open up because it’s so much fun.  You don’t go to Rhino’s anymore because your ex-boyfriend is on the lacrosse team and you don’t want to run into him.  You eagerly anticipate moving to New York City after graduation, where there is a limitless supply of cocaine and 30-year-old dudes.

Garrett’s:
You have very good taste.