Jo Marie Payton-Noble Joins Georgetown Faculty

Today marks the beginning of what is sure to an outstanding period in Georgetown University’s academic history. After intense negotiations and bidding, Georgetown received word that it had beat out the University of Virginia and Stanford in attracting one of the world’s premiere actresses/professors of government. Her name is Dr. Jo Marie Payton-Noble, known the world over as the smart but sassy Mrs. Harriet Winslow.

A true American television icon, Dr. Payton-Noble is also well know for her work with Samuel Huntington developing the “Crash of Civiliations” theory, which propelled both political scientists to the helm of academic excellence. Although impressed by her work in the field of government, Georgetown administration admits that it was primarily attracted to Dr. Payton-Noble’s work on Family Matters and Perfect Strangers from 1989 to 1997. Never one to let a difficult situation get the best of her, Harriet Winslow was the matriarch of America’s first family. Her character was two parts piss, one part vinegar and three parts love.

In a private interview with the Heckler, Georgetown President Jack DeGioia dispelled rumors that Donna Brazile has “threatened to walk” if Payton-Noble joins the staff. He also added that he is anxious to question Dr. Payton-Noble about one Hollywood’s most closely guarded secrets- how Urkel and Stefan Urkel (pronounced Steff-on Err-kell) could be in two places at once. DeGioia also added that he will address concerns the Board of Trustees has raised about just exactly what happened to Judy.

Dr. Jo Marie will begin in the fall of 2005 with a course entitled, Govt 473 Did I do that? Politics and Personal Responsibility in the 21st Century.