GERM Finds Love with Former Patient
Bill Simmons (COL’07), a GERM, has been the first person to successfully utilize ‘thefacebook.com’ to find true romance and not just a good screw. The ‘Interested in Meeting for’ function, which is frequently filled out but rarely successfully, led Bill to find romance with a former patient, Celine Petrovski (NHS ’08). Bill relates the story:
“I was on GERMS duty on Friday night a few weeks ago. We’d had a slow night, watched the out-of-focus and grainy GPB movie and were headed back to Village C East with the intent of getting some rest before our relief came in the next morning. As we piled into the ambulance, we were dispatched for ‘THE personal illness in Henle’ by ‘Big Mike’ Norton of DPS.
“We responded to find Celine lying a pool of her own emesis and surrounded by several very intoxicated girls who all claimed to be nurses. They looked more like porno nurses. So our leader, Peggy N. Brad (SFS’06), sent the hoochies away so we could do our job. After the ammonia inhalant, Celine started talking to us and I was struck by how beautiful she could be if she weren’t covered by the remix of Leo’s and Wagners gin.”
Celine continues: I remember bits and pieces of the night. We’d just had an Angerio exam and were out celebrating. I guess the last three shots of gin were too much. I remember falling and throwing up all over the stairwell before stumbling into Becky [Williamson (MSB ’06)]’s apartment when they called GERMS for me.
“Bill’s caring ways and tenderness while taking my blood pressure and holding my hair back while I puked were rather endearing. His easy smile and blue eyes stuck with me through the alcohol haze. I asked around about him, and was able to facebook him. He agreed to be friends and I noticed he and I were both looking for a relationship. I thought that we’d be perfect for each other. Both of us are fans of ‘Iron Eagle II,’ enjoyed the Smurfs as children, and are huge Blue Oyster Cult fans. The rest is history.”
Mark Zuckerberg, founder of thefacebook.com, commented that this is the first instance he’s aware of regarding people actually successfully finding love on thefacebook. “We mostly see it as an extension of the IM profile and put the “Interested in Meeting for” section on there as a nod to my favorite swinger websites. I’m glad Bill and Celine were able to use my brainchild to both meet in sober-er circumstances and start dating. If it succeeds, I’ll be more than willing to sponsor their wedding as a group you can join.”
It is not, however, the first time that a GERMS has found love with a former patient. Several notable GERM-patient relationships have come out of on scene chemistry between the sick and injured and their rescuers. GERMS president Alexandra Nodim (COL ’05) comments that in her tenure in the organization at least 2 weddings and several illegitimate children have been produced as a result of relationships between GERMS and their former patients. It is a trend, she says, that is likely to continue, especially in light of Bill and Celine.
