OP-ED: Theme Parties: You Know You Want to
As the fall semester at Georgetown swings into full gear, young men everywhere welcome the return of ‘Theme Party’ Season. While it is sad to watch miniskirts and tank tops vanish as temperatures drop, theme parties and their dress codes fail to constrain to even the coldest of nights. The theme party phenomenon has its roots in the Halloween tradition. “Halloween is great,” Senior Erica Benton says. “Every girl loves to dress like a skank, but you just can’t do it on a normal evening out. If you do, you’ll get an unsavory label. However, if it’s only a costume you have a free ticket to dress anyway you like.” It did not take long for a few astute men to realize that there had to be a way to increase the occurrence of girls dressing up in all their slut-tastic glory. Thus with the invention of the theme party, naughty nurses, tennis hos, and dirty schoolgirls can be found around campus at least on a weekly basis. “I swear, no matter what the theme is, the girls will find a way to look hot” beams Tom Davenport-MSB ’05. “You could have an Amish party and they’d still find a way to let their inner whore shine through.”
However, theme parties are not all fun and games. Sadly, there is always that token girl with either too much positive body image, or the inherent lack of a mirror who ends up reminding hundreds of party revelers of the darker, indeed, heavier side of the 80’s. At a recent event, one partier, who wished only to be identified as Ted, shook his head with disgust, noting “that girl over there looks like Cindy Lauper in a funhouse mirror.” He then proceeded to squelch the image from his memory with four or five solo cups of jungle juice. In a twist of God’s cruel irony, Ted was later observed making out with “Cindy” as Karma Chameleon blared in the background. Toward the end of the party, Ted was found passed out on a sofa with vomit covering his “Styx” cutoff shirt. While almost all in attendance had a great time that evening, one GERM put it best as he loaded Ted into the ambulance, “Contrary to what VH1 may say, not everyone loves the 80’s”.
