Gracia-Jax Wedding Date Confirmed

The much anticipated fall wedding date of Alta Gracia and Jax has finally been nailed down, and
Washingtonians everywhere are scrambling to get on the guest list of what is sure to be the spectacular union of this year’s hottest couple. Alta Gracia, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Preston Gracia of Arlington, VA and Jax, legendary child of deceased Bruce Lee and Yoko Ono are to be wed this October 8 in a ceremony in Dalghren Chapel.

Alta and Jax work for the Marriot Corporation in dining services at Leo’s Cafeteria at Georgetown University and have been engaged for eight months. The couple met late last year as Renee Whitfield (portly card swiper) left her post in New South Cafeteria.

Alta, catapulted into the role of card-swiper, eagerly sat down in the very warm chair that Renee once refused to move from for her entire shift. In doing so Alta stepped into a very large pair of shoes and triple XL stirrup stretch pants, which she has worn with great pride. Jax has been a dinner shift manager for more than thirteen years at Georgetown and is an associate professor in the School of Foreign Service where he teaches senior seminar courses for Fulbright Scholar nominees.

When asked what drew him to Alta (NHS ‘73) he replied “Like any Georgetown girl, Alta has that sparkle in her eye that can’t help but put the hoya in my saxa.” The wedding reception will be catered entirely with food from the couple’s favorite theme night menu including an eclectic mix of not so crabby-crab cakes and are you sure this is pork?-pork rhines. The wedding is sure to be an A-list event and promises the likes of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, Justice Sandra Day O’Connor and live-in boyfriend Pauly Shore, and the ashes of the late Katherine Graham accompanied by former lover Alfonse LeRoi Fox.

The Heckler staff wishes the future Mr. and Mrs. Jax all the best of luck on their upcoming special day.