Bush Halts War Because of Red Square Protests
Courageous GU Undergrads Bring Peace to Iraq
President George W. Bush abruptly pulled American troops out of the Persian Gulf region, effectively ending Operation Iraqi Freedom, because of Georgetown students’ valiant protests in Red Square.
The war in Iraq had raged for several days when Bush made the call. The decision to pull out was made after receiving word that as many as fourteen Georgetown University students were participating in anti-war protests in Red Square.
Upon hearing of the now infamous ‘Hoya Protests,’ a Bush commented: “Seriously? There are twelve students who are sleeping outside in protest? Man, this can’t war go on.” Vice President Dick Cheney responded gravely, “My sources are saying that there may even be fourteen students, Mr. President.”
Shortly thereafter, Operation Iraqi Freedom was immediately halted when an emotional George W. Bush called an emergency meeting of his Cabinet and Joint Chiefs of Staff to beg for the war to stopped.
According to sources close to the White House, possibly a dozen Georgetown students were camping out in Red Square with the ambiguous political position of “anti-war.” The students brought tents, pajamas, s’mores and their strongest anti-war mentalities as they prepared to sleep the night away in the cool March air. It was clear to anyone present that these students meant business.
Following the ‘Hoya Protests’-induced cancellation of the war in Iraq, President Bush made important calls to US military personnel and allies around the world, the most notable of which was Great Britain’s Prime Minister, Tony Blair. Sources say that Blair made several rushed and furious comments concerning the cancellation of Operation Iraqi Freedom, but refused to dignify the “preposterous” ‘Hoya Protests’ with a comment.
When Bush was asked to comment on Blair’s reaction, he bluntly stated, “Come on guys, you know I don’t speak British.”
The moral of the story is that one person cannot make a difference, but twelve to fourteen pot-smoking hippie co-eds can. Perhaps the most important lesson to be learned from the short-lived war in Iraq is that ‘war’ spelled backwards is ‘raw’; ‘Iraq’ spelled backwards is ‘Qari’; and ‘shub’ is an anagram for ‘Bush.’
