Top Ten Reasons Why The Georgetown Heckler Sucks

1. The office is a feces-stained portable toilet outside of the Southwest Quadrangle construction project
2. Staff can’t think of any articles that don’t involve a penis reference
3. Penis
4. Entire staff is really just one dorky fat kid in LXR
5. Georgetown Heckler writers beaten up by writers for The Hoya
6. Georgetown Heckler writers not as smart as writers from The Hoya
7. Any “magazine” conceived on the tail end of a Mescaline binge is kind of doomed from the start
8. It can’t be read while sitting on the crapper, thus defeating the entire purpose of a magazine.
9. The staff has such little accountability for their actions that they publish under ludicrous pseudonyms, like ‘Nacho Alabaster’
10. It makes you dummer.
11. Obscure movie references and inside jokes aside, no one knows what the fuck is being talked about.
12. Because we can’t count to ten.