Basketball Team Explodes Following Loss to Louisville

By Preston Sumter

 

CHINATOWN — After dropping from the top ten and out of the rankings and losing 9 of their last 11 games, the Georgetown men’s basketball team exploded in a giant ball of fire Monday night immediately following their loss to the six-ranked Louisville Cardinals.  “I’m going to admit that this has not my best season here,” said Coach John Thompson III, who had to take leading scorer DaJuan Summers out of the game towards the end of the second half after his legs shattered into 5,000 pieces and a herd of feral cats ran onto the court and to eat what was left of him alive.  “The key is to take it one game at a time, keep your head down, and hope that your players come together to be able to make a run in the tournament,” continued Thompson, appearing somewhat shaken that his four other starters and the rest of the players on the Hoya bench had simultaneously combusted as Louisville burned off the final 20 seconds on the clock to cap the game with a 76-58 victory.  After the game, more bad news came for the Hoyas as Big East foe DePaul announced that the scattered remains of Greg Monroe had transferred to the Chicago university.