Head Injury Leaves Man Wattaded

By Rex Derkowitz, Esq.

 

GEORGETOWN — Debris from a window struck a man on M Street yesterday, in an incident Metro police say left him completely and utterly Wattaded. As of this morning the man was listed in critical condition and doctors at Georgetown University Hospital said that he would very likely be deemed "profoundly Wattaded" after neurological tests were completed. “This is going to be a very long process for him to be able again to perform the basic tasks he used to take for granted, and I think it’s going to be very psychologically damaging to see the way his face now looks,” said a Dr. Seth Reiss, who operated on the man. Initial tests showed the man was unable to dribble, rebound, or play defense, but he occasionally made threes.