Sometimes God / the National Press Club will ask The Onion to send some people over to talk about their War For The White House coverage, and your Heckler editor will have to skip Midnight Madness. And the journalists, who are all losing their jobs, will try to be polite at first and then will really, really just want their questions on how this thing makes money and keeps hiring new people answered. And The Onion will eventually end that panel discussion and get drunk for free in the posh members-only Truman Lounge, home to presidents of the United States playing the piano, a bunch of owl sculptures, and a little old mustachioed bartender in a red vest. And whether or not your Heckler editor is 21, after awhile he will doublefist the half-drunk wine glasses of people he doesn’t know:
And Joe Garden will ingest the cake of people he doesn’t know:
And it will be the best night ever.
Oh yeah, I haven’t been keeping blog readers up to date with what I’ve been writing in The Onion. I apologize. Assume I wrote everything you thought was funny, and this.
NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR FUCKING LIFE
Mr. DeGioia, we get very tired of you coming round here and trying to bring us down. We needed a blog post, and I assumed our other blog reader, Will, might enjoy reading this. Sit back down and eat your macaroni and cheese and stop coming round here if you don’t appreciate the blogging.
some wine glasses break easily so now i always buy wine glasses that are quite thick ~
most wine glasses have very thin structure and i bet that they break easily not unless they are made of quartz glass ‘-~
.:: I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives useful information ‘`”