Olson Updates Alumni Housing Policy

Olson Updates Alumni Housing Policy

HARBIN — In an email broadcast to campus today, Vice President for Student Affairs Todd Olson announced changes to the alumni housing policy. After almost two semesters of heated debate, Olson along with GUSA President Trevor Tezel (SFS ’15) and Vice President Omika Jikaria (SFS ’15) voted to adopt a three-year post graduation on-campus housing... »

PNC, Consider This a Warning

By Devyn
PNC, Consider This a Warning

On the night of April 21st, 2014, I dreamt that David Rubenstein, Georgetown’s Vice President of Finance and Treasurer, was chasing me down an endless corridor of funhouse mirrors.  As I flew in terror across those white marble checkered floors, I could hear Rubenstein’s... »

Senior Hoping No Ones Notices He Preregistered for Fall Classes

Senior Hoping No Ones Notices He Preregistered for Fall Classes

WHITE-GRAVENOR — Citing his “complete lack of preparation” for the world outside of the front gates, Senior Chris Mitchell (MSB ’14) quietly preregistered for classes last week for the fall of 2014 in the hopes no one would notice. “Well I wasn’t locked out of... »

Georgetown UIS Urges Students To Destroy All Technology

Georgetown UIS Urges Students To Destroy All Technology

GEORGETOWN — Citing a recent surge in malware attacks, including the powerful “Heartbleed” security breech, Georgetown Chief Information Officer Lisa Davis urgently requested all Georgetown students destroy their technology. At a sparsely-attended emergency press conference in the UIS Executive Office on Wednesday Davis outlined how the... »

Relay for Choice Fights Back Against Conservative Causes

Relay for Choice Fights Back Against Conservative Causes

HARBIN FIELD — Students from all backgrounds descended upon Harbin Field on Friday night to join the Georgetown University College Democrats and H*yas for Choice in the 8th annual “Relay for Choice.” The event, one of Georgetown’s largest events, has managed to raise over $1.4 million... »

J.J.’s Bones Uncovered Beneath Copley Lawn

The Georgetown community was rocked by scandal yesterday after students uncovered an unmarked grave beneath the surface of Copley Lawn containing the presumed remains of former mascot-in-training, J.J. The grave was discovered by Alex Ortega (SFS ’15), a cutter on the Georgetown Ultimate Frisbee team.... »

Support Relay for Cirrhosis

Support Relay for Cirrhosis

Hello, dear readers. We here at The Heckler love a good joke. But today, we would like to take a moment to talk to you about something of a more serious nature. It’s an issue that has struck deeply at the heart of our... »

The Heckler Infographic: Dahlgren Chapel Renovations

The Heckler Infographic: Dahlgren Chapel Renovations

The Dahlgren Chapel of the Sacred Heart will be rededicated this Saturday after over twelve months of renovations. Here are some of the new features students can expect to see in the chapel: Magnetic locks on doors will prevent bad Catholics from leaving after Communion Chapel... »

Pleasure Place Closing; Gag Gifts Reserve Running Low

Pleasure Place Closing; Gag Gifts Reserve Running Low

GEORGETOWN — As he notified he the world this week, Pleasure Place Owner Frankie Carlondie’s store will be closing up shop in the near future. This announcement set off a panic among students on the hilltop who were in need of gag gifts. “This closure... »